Do You Self-Censor?

16 Feb

An excerpt from an email I got recently:

I find myself blocking people from tagging me in status updates, pics etc if it has to do with autism and choosing not to publish encouraging quotes or events etc on my facebook page or pinning on pinterest and twitter. I find it to be a terrible bother but I’m very hesitant for some of the extended family who do not want attention drawn to our child’s autism to see these things and I also am very uncomfortable about members of my church community who are not always the most tolerant seeing them as well. 

A friend also shared with me in recent conversation that she felt guilt posting positive things about her child’s progress as there are so  many friends and family members struggling with their situations and children with autism.

Which makes me wonder, do we self-censor to protect our kids or to protect others?

The King and I decided long ago that even if we don’t share every minute detail, we would celebrate the victories and we would struggle with the setbacks the same way with everyone. We ultimately decided what was best for our marriage and our children was to NOT censor ourselves and if people had a problem it was THEIR PROBLEM.

But I know that’s not always the case for each person or family. I know moms and dads who never once have even mentioned their child has autism in social media and avoid talking about it in public if at all possible. Not out of embarrassment but because they feel that by sharing information they are causing harm to their child’s privacy. Or because it is just too much hassle for them with family, friends and other members of the community. There are some situations where avoidance is better than addressing the issue.

I know I was once told by a person who later de-friended me on facebook that when I posed positive information about The Princess or referred to her “condition” (their word, not mine) as a blessing, it caused her pain because she believed that nothing good could come from autism based on her experience with her two sons. I feel badly for this woman, I truly do, but it does not make it my responsibility to not post things at all. If I know someone has a problem I generally block them from seeing my posts and then I allow them to see selected ones, but this person was claiming I was damaging her and her family by posting info on my family and our autism journey at all…see where the problem is there?

So, I’m wondering, do you censor as a default? What are your reasons?

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